Crissi Curly Rice and her husband, Brent Rice (photo by Alea Lovely)
Love is one of the most fulfilling emotions, and while easily accessible, it’s sometimes difficult to maintain when love turns into committed relationships. When I reflect on the lessons of my grandmother, Nana, I am reminded that her marriage endured so much, and while I came along later in her life, I was in awe of how my grandparents loved each other.
My grandfather, a World War II veteran, knew my grandmother was an artist, and Nana never apologized for it. She often said that when she discovered she was an artist and claimed that for herself, she was pregnant three weeks later. Nana incorporated all her children and grandchildren into her artist life, and in each home she lived in, there was a designated space and time for her artistry. I do not remember a time when my grandfather felt in competition with her art, nor did she ever mention it. Her art was just what it was, and his non-artist life was a part of that world.
My own life journey has led me to a marriage with a fellow artist who is a multi-instrumentalist and vocalist. While we knew each other for many years before we were a couple, it was the art that created our connection and continues to be a leading force in not only who we are but also in our relationship. My greatest joy is having someone who “gets me,” who understands the ups and downs of being an artist and can roll with it without thinking the world will fall apart. Many non-artistic professionals have the benefit of healthcare, 401(k)s and other safeguards, while full-time artists often have to be even more creative than their art practice for these basic needs. Kevin and I are habitual night owls, we lean into our muses at inconvenient times, and we honor that in each other. Our schedules are non-traditional, our home is filled with papers, yarn, books, instruments and projects in process. It is whimsical; I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Crissi Curly Rice is a visual artist who has been thriving in Kansas City and recently had her first solo exhibit, “Texturized, Textures & Depth: Unveiling Perspectives & Identities,” at Avila University. Her husband, Brent Rice, is a poet and music producer, and, by definition, an artist. Crissi states he “brings his own creative outlets to the relationship. He is incredibly supportive of my craft, and I am equally supportive. His unwavering encouragement allows me the freedom and inspiration to fully pursue my passion for creating art.” It occurs that there is a harmony in artistry, and perhaps particularly if the art is not the same medium for each member of the couple.
Married 12 years, Vivian Wilson Bluett has been with her husband, Jason, since they were teenagers. Even with an art degree from UMKC, he never pursued art, while Vivian, a self-taught artist, has been fully engaged in her artistic career for nearly a decade. She has always practiced art throughout her responsibilities as a stay-at-home mom, but she didn’t begin professionally until 2015.
“Being a painter didn’t impact our relationship initially because I was just painting for myself … it didn’t interfere with money or work because I was laid off when I started. It impacted my family when I started full time because it took me away from my family and the details that I had taken care of that may not have been noticed.” When Vivian became both purposeful and profitable with her art, “it was a little rough for a little while … it took some time before he submitted to the grace and space I needed. There was a lot of pushback, because I wasn’t who I was when we first got together.”
Vivian found strength in the other women artists in the Black Space Black Art group, and it was through their understanding of the demands of marriage and motherhood that she was able to stand firm in her own need to be an artist. “I know that might not sound pretty, but that is the truth. We worked through it and it has made us stronger.”
Not all artists are interested in being in a relationship. Sandy Gomel has been happily single for 16 years. While she admits being single wasn’t her first choice, she has found great peace in it.
“I have learned not to give myself away to anyone,” she said. “In the past I gave away my inner being just to make a man feel better about himself.” Sandy said she often felt a loss of identity in her relationships, and that many of the partners she chose would even be jealous of her art. Instead of moving on, she dimmed her light and even spoke of herself in third person to express how far removed she was from herself and ultimately, her art. You would never know that was her story; she stands fully in herself and her art, expressing beautifully and fearlessly, “I love the fact that I am no longer dogged by jealousy and co-dependency. I am free to pick up a book, a paintbrush or a grandchild without repercussions.” She won’t say no to love forever, but she is certain that when and if she does find love, it will have her art and her heart at the center of it.
